Shrekposting Following Another 8 Hour Shift
Shrekposting Following Another 8 Hour Shift
Blog Article
Man, this job really drains. I'm so fried I could just curl up. All I wanna do is chug some juice and stare at the internet for days. But first, gotta post a few Lord Farquaad memes to defeat the boredom. Existence is a real journey, man.
This corporate ladder you see? It's just a staircase leading to Shrek's swamp
Sure, they tell you it's all about ambition, about scaling to the top and ruling your little domain. They paint a picture of wealth, but let me tell you, that shiny penthouse suite with its panoramic view? It's just another lonely tower in Shrek's swamp.
Get ready for long shifts, meetings that go nowhere, and a never-ending parade of backstabbing colleagues. Your dreams? They'll get swallowed up in the mire like another unfortunate tourist who wandered into this wretched swamp.
- And don't even get me started on the dress code. You think your blazers will impress anyone down here?
- Trust me, you'll be wishing for a good pair of wellies
So next time climbing that ladder, pause and ask yourself: Is this really what I want? Or am I just bamboozled by the system, only to end up like every other lost soul in Shrek's swamp?
Heading: "Important Meeting" - My Soul: "Like an Onion, Shrek."
You know that feeling when your manager sends out an email with/about/regarding a meeting and the subject line just screams "urgency/importance/significance"? Yeah, well, my soul is currently experiencing something akin to a Shrek-themed onion. Layered with anxiety/dread/a healthy dose of WTF, each layer reveals/hides/uncovers another questionable/confusing/intriguing detail about the meeting's purpose.
Is it a performance review? A team-building exercise/activity/nightmare? Or, perhaps, the unveiling of a revolutionary/disastrous/slightly off-brand new company initiative? Honestly, at this point, I wouldn't be surprised if it was a meeting about how to best prepare for/survive/celebrate an alien invasion.
- My body requires coffee. Like, a metric ton of coffee.
- Perhaps it's wise to busy with something else.
- Should I even bother checking the calendar for next week?
This Spreadsheet Could Be Done Faster With Ogre Strength
Look, this spreadsheet is a real pain. I'm drowning in data and formulas, my brain is fried, and the deadline is looming like funny a hungry goblin. It wouldn't take some serious muscle to get this thing done. I'm talking about the kind of power that only a titan possesses. This ain't a job for your average office worker, this is heavy lifting stuff.
- Perhaps it's time to a team of orcs?
- This file requires an atomic bomb
- I'm about to require a nap
Weekend? Nah, I'm Just Going Back to My Layer Cake of Papers
The idea of leisure this weekend is just ridiculous. My desk is currently a monument of papers, each one demanding my undivided care. Honestly, I'm more motivated about conquering this stack of assignments than I am about watching some Netflix. Maybe a weekend binge of caffeine and sorting is more my speed.
Full Time Work Makes Me Feel Like a Donkey in a Corporate Stable
I'm trapped in this office machine. Every day feels like I'm trundling along, just another cog in the stable. I'm exhausted from dragging this weight day after day. I fantasize about breaking free.
- Maybe I'll become a farmer and actually actually get to spend time with creatures who are happy in their environment.
- {Or maybe I'll learn a new skill and finally find peace.
- {Whatever it is, I know I can't stay here forever.{ It's just not worth it.